Perspective: The Advice we give Children

When the statement was told to me: During my School Years
What I was Told: “These are the best years of my life.”
What I think of that Statement Now: Thank fucking god I never believed that bullshit.  If I ever had believed that shit…if I ever truly believed that life was downhill from there?  I would not have been able to slit my throat while falling into an active volcano full of killer bees fast enough.

When the statement was told to me:  During my school years
What I was Told:  “If you ignore bullies, they’ll leave you alone.”
What I think of that Statement Now:  In retrospect, I feel like I was told “If you put barbecue sauce on yourself, piranhas will think you are too easy and will leave you alone.”

When the statement was told to me: As I was graduating High School
What I was Told: “College will be harder then anything you experienced in high school”
What I think of that Statement Now: I had an English Teacher who spent more time talking neutering his cats then about English.  He did teach me how to use a semi-colon though; I’ve always been grateful for that.  In either case, I failed…so I guess I can’t snark too much about this one.

When the statement was told to me: The first 21 years of my life
What I was Told: “Kids think they know everything!”
What I think of that Statement Now: This was a sort of confusing statement for me at the time, as I knew I didn’t know a damn thing.  So when I would express an opinion and get that response, I was always somewhat baffled.  Later on in life, I’d find out that this statement was more or less correct.

When the statement was told to me: My School Years
What I was Told: “Your bullies will grow up to have horrible lives.”
What I think of that Statement Now: The only one I’ve found out about is named Seth.  He went from being a popular jock…to owning a failing beauty shop with his wife….who apparently kicks his ass from time to time, and his kids might not be his own.  I feel petty when I admit to being satisfied with this on some level.

When the statement was told to me:  During most of my childhood.
What I was Told: “You’re too smart to have an attention spectrum disorder.”
What I think of that Statement Now:  BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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