So, first order of business? This blog just hit a thousand views.
Before today, I don’t think I truly understood why people made posts or announcements about that stuff. Occasionally I’d see something on YouTube or Deviantart, where someone was thanking their subscribers or what not, and the proclamations just didn’t make sense. I just wondered if people were getting obsessed over stupid details, and why they were fixated on meaningless milestone numbers. I mean, congratulations and all that, but it seemed pretty pointlessly self serving.
Now I get it.
Freelance work can be fun, but it can also be exhausting and soul crushing at times. You feel like a trained seal, honking on bicycle horns. You may be able to play the piano and perform a flawless rendition of Chopin’s most complicated pieces, but your client doesn’t want to hear Chopin; they want Yankee Doodle Dandy. On bicycle horns. That can sort of wear on a person, provided that the person isn’t Harpo Marx.
My blogs, by contrast, have been absolute an absolute sanctuary. I can do whatever I like. If I want to Chopin on bicycle horns? I can do that. Metaphorically if nothing else. I get to write for the sake of the writing. I get to refine my own voice. Polish the very thing that I want to make my vocation. My work is allow to breathe, without a thought for some potentially obnoxious patron.
I put myself, my work, and my real life thoughts out there for people to read. In return, people have come to read my work over a thousand times. Some of these people I do not know, and never will. Some of them has subscribed to my blog. I have regular readership from Sweden and Germany.
So later today, when I have to say “yes, I can write this pandering tripe you have requested”? I know that I have my blogs to return to. I have more than asylum; I am my own sovereign fiefdom. It is small, but it is mine. It is precious to me, and it is the result of my own hard work. It a subtle reminder that this, someday, will no longer be a hobby.
Last time, I spoke about the month of silence that some Polytheists are observing for the duration of July. I understand and respect their reasoning, but I will not be taking part. First of all, this blog is more than a discussion over my religion. Certainly it is that more often than not, but sometimes it’s also me telling silly stories about watching My Little Pony with my step-daughter. Sometimes I talk politics. Sometimes I just talk.
The other reason is quite simple, and equally as personal. Simply put, writing has become my solace. This is my escape, to remind myself of what I could be. I haven’t received the hate-mail that some of those guys have, but I suspect that it wouldn’t change thing if I had. If someone hates what I say, let them; it doesn’t effect my words one way or the other. Better than that though? They can’t truly criticize me without reading what I say.
If your reading my work? Than without realizing it, you’ve made my day a little brighter.
Or, to put it another way?
Thank you everyone who has come into read what I’ve had to say. It means a lot to me.