How I Write

At the present moment, I am a full-time writer.  This is about as glamorous as it sounds, as long as you have a realistic perception of how writing works.  I think for about four to six weeks in I’m not doing to bad.  I will say that I’m hitting a good clip and getting a bit faster at how I produce work every day.  Also my profreading had gotten much betters.

Since it’s so hot that I can barely think about serious stuff, I thought it would be fun to reveal my work flow.

1ComputerRoom) Get to the Computer: This isn’t as easy as it sounds.  Between a recent bought of insomnia, an intense heat wave, and sleep apnea?  Getting to sleep is obnoxious and difficult.  Once I get there, I’m reluctant to leave for anything short of the demands of divinity.  I consider my family a divine gift, so that works in a pinch.  I drag myself up stairs, plop into my office chair, and than stare a my screen for a little.

coffee22) gnrf…prshh….Coffee:  After I look at my computer screen for a few a few minutes, I realize that it’s not on.  I fix that minor detail and than opt to go make a cup of coffee for myself, and than drink the damn thing.  I have a pod coffee machine, and I finally got my hands on those little reusable pod filters.  As such, I have access to freshly brewed and portioned coffee within two minutes of the time that I want it.  While this has done wonders for my productivity and my future kidney stones, I can’t imagine it’s been doing many amazing things for my health.  At the same time, I think a lack of coffee would do far worse things and I’m willing to work with the devil I know over the devil that will repeatedly kick me in the balls..

nerdrage3) Look at Stuff on the Interent Until I’m Pissed Off: I’ve begun to realize that this is actually an important step.  Between Uwe Boll, Nazis, politics, and just the stupid shit that ends up going on in my personal circles?  It gets me good and pissed off, which ignites my passions as well as gets my blood pressure moving a bit.  Oh, and the excitement gets the caffeine pumping through my system a bit quicker.  Anger is my nitro.

working4) Get Work: Once I have the ability to communicate in a rational way with people, I start looking for work.  I have accounts on oDesk and iWritter, but I’ve been doing better with other freelancers I’ve been catching overflow from.  I realize that this is probably a non-standard experience, but the rates are modestly better through the two other freelance writers, and the turnaround has been much more regular.  In either case, if either of my contacts are dry I start look through oDesk and iWritter for something that will pay.  Other a four day stretch last week, I’ve been in the clear in that regard.  I try and stay away from topics that piss me too much, and I’ve been modestly successful in this regard.

research5) Research and Writing: I start researching whatever the hell my subject is.  Subjects range wildly from gynecological issues, to inspirational speeches, to talking about insurance for geezers in other countries.  The subjects range from damned obnoxious to particularly illuminating.  When my wife was recently suffering from pregnancy related pain, I was able to inform her that the pain she was suffering from was called “round ligament pain”.  I couldn’t do anything about it mind you, but I knew what it was called and that made me happy.  Sometimes I write as I research, and other times I alternate between researching huge chunks than writing huge chunks.  Depends on the topic, and how obnoxious it is.

2007_7young-frankenstein6) Goofing Off and Personal projects: This is where I try and master the ADHD that I have, rather than letting it master me!  I goof off on youtube, keep up with facebook feeds, and otherwise just sort of unwind.  This is where I’m kind of riffing, and waiting for something to come to me on a particular project.  Some of the stuff I write is pretty bizarre or awkward, so this period of doing random bullshit pretty much refuels me so I can slog through telling people why they should have volcano insurance in Hawaii.  This is also where I’ll put in some time on my blog, or start with some work towards writing a book of my own.  If my wife or daughter check in on me, it is invariably at this phase.  I have horrible luck in this regard.

process7) Repeat steps 2, 3,  5, and 6 in any order, as needed.  Do this until you can go to step 8: So basically, I just meander around, getting pissed, drinking coffee, researching the articles, writing the articles, and looking up stupid shit on the internet.  There are also situations where I make my daughter’s snacks, help my wife with something, or answer the phone and have to answer seventeen random questions from my mother.  Seriously, the randomness cannot be overstated.  It’ll be anything from a query about my phone bill, to a question on what game they were talking about on “Big Bang Theory”.  Anything is fair game.

Final_Fantasy_3_-_SNES_-_Victory8) Finish an article, and do something around the house: I finish an article, submit it to whomever wanted me to do the darn thing, and than I go find something to do around the house.  Often times, this laborious chore is “make myself coffee, so no one gets hurt”.  Other times, it’s taking out the trash or getting some dishes into the dish washer.  Normally, this is the claimed providence of my wife.  Normally, however, she’s not pregnant and it’s not one-hundred degrees outside.  As such, she pretty much hides near the only air conditioner in the house.  Her reason?  She’d prefer not to vomit on all of our physical possessions.  It’s a pretty sound reasoning.

process 29) Return to step 7 until Step 10 occurs:  This process continues for a while.  I’ll grab a new article, get into an argument with someone on facebook, research the bond markets of Taiwan, write about the bond market of Taiwan, and than check and see if anyone posted anything on youtube….until…

gauntlet10) Forget to eat for five hours, and only realize that I did that once I get stupid hungry: When I say stupid hungry?  I mean that I’m so hungry that I become extreme stupid.  I’ll be writing, looking at lolcats, or researching something…and all of a sudden, my body informs me that I’ve been running on vapors for the last two hours.  Reading because difficult, and writing anything other phpduasd just ain’t happening.  This is where I stagger into the kitchen, and make food for myself if I remember how.  Usually, this is something in either the “sandwich” or “ramen” category.  Occasionally, however, I get a little fancy and make myself a quesadilla of some sort.

Flintstones11) Do the various process listed below until I’m satisfied with my work load for the day: I work until I get the goal I had set for the day done.  The last few days, this has been four articles.  I would like to hit six or more but it’s writing about unfamiliar subjects isn’t as easy as you may think.  Furthermore, it’s as hot as a fire giant’s nutsack and that’s the sort of thing that can deeply damage productivity.  At this point, I go between working on private projects and trying to go to sleep


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