So, I’m changing up a few things. Both in the writing I’m publishing, and in the material I’m attaching to my Patreon campaign.
My religious view are no longer the only topic I’m talking about. This isn’t out of lack on interest in the subject or due to a lack of material. The simple truth is that it’s extremely taxing to write a steady stream of critique pieces, no matter how well intentioned or well mannered you might make them. It has become draining to exclusively talk about the things I take issue with, especially when the subject have such a strong resonance with my own heart and soul. It’s important work, no doubt. I take it very seriously, and I’ve tried my damnedest to focus on topics of meaning and merit. I tried to put a pinch of humorous sugar on everything to make the mess easier to take, both for myself and for my reader. It works, to a point. At the end of the day, however, I still end up feel empty and drained. I have praise and attention for some of the things I’ve said about Loki, but the process of having to deconstruct all the bile? Words fail me when it comes to expressing what that takes out of me.
You have to unweave and decrypt the source of another person’s hate, and figure a way to explain why the chaos they’re causing in actuality is worse than the potential chaos that they condemn. Even when you succeed at such a thing, the effort along can be monstrously draining. When you see your words ignored, it can be maddening. I have been, for weeks, trying to write a peace about my thoughts on Heathenry and racism. I have failed, so far, simply because I haven’t been able to get to a three digit word count without going into a frothing rage. My heart is in every word I write, and when those words are negative due to the subject at hand? It hurts a little bit. This isn’t the sort of Heathenry I want to see. I don’t think it’s the sort of Heathenry anyone wants to see. I need to stretch my arms a little bit, and expand my writing. To try to work with other subjects and other formats so I can be more clear headed and mentally balanced when I go to write about the things that matter the most to me.
Than there is something else. A more insidious issue that I’ve bought into, and I feel like I need to reject it with extreme prejudice.
Part of the reason I have been leery about talking about other subjects, in particular those that pertain to pop culture, geekery, and nerdity, is because I’m well aware that there is an unspoken bias that surrounds Pagan faiths and such material. That people who engage in both Pagan spirituality and pop culture must be getting their wires crossed, and are attempting to incorporate their hobbies with their religion. That the Pagan religions are nothing more than pop culture fad in of themselves, and that partaking of both confirms the pointlessness of them both. In an effort to distance myself from that perception, I tried to put some distance between me and some of the little joys within my life. I accepted the bias, and confirmed it with my actions. Yeesh. I kind of want to throw up now.
Let’s clear something up.
I am a geek. I am a Norse Polytheist. I play Magic the Gathering. I believe in magic* as an element of spirituality. I play video games. I pray to an entire pantheon of Gods, whom I believe in. Both of these realms are a part of me, but they did not build off of each other. They also don’t inherently define me. I didn’t come to investigate Paganism by way of Dungeons and Dragons, Grand Theft Auto, or any of the other imagined contributors to moral decay that Fox get to blame whenever it’s a slow news week**; I investigated the Pagan religious spectrum due to my own intellectual curiosity, philosophical musings, and a dissatisfaction with what I had been shown religion to be. I got into gaming and pop-culture because I was five years old when the Nintendo Entertainment System was the toy you wanted, my Uncle had been into D&D since before I was born and he gave me my first Player’s Handbook for my birthday, and my friends in Middle School were into comic books and they got me into them too. That’s the long and short of it.
The end result is that I’m going to write over at GE3KL1F3 a bit more often. I’ll still be writing here. I’ll still be writing over at Witches and Pagans. I might have some new blogging topics open up, and I’m trying to get a hold of the equipment and software needed to do lets plays. I’m still working towards a YouTube channel***, and I’ve still got some other projects held up in the wings. All of these things are going under my Patreon campaign, because I’m not selling myself short because some people can’t get the difference between a religion and a hobby.
In short, part of my goal is to represent the balanced majority that no one seems to focus on. I am a parent, a husband, a Heathen, and a geek. I’m leaning liberal, but I’m pro-gun. The vast majority of Pagans I know do not exist as the tofu munching, Prius driving, every opinion you have is okay as long as I agree with it stereotype that so many seem to go to as an automatic. There are layers. Here are some of mine.
Let’s get this show back on the road.
* I believe that what most people call magic is an inherent element of spirituality, and that it can manifest itself in an infinite number of ways. I wouldn’t call that Monism, so much as I’m not sure how other people’s filters are distorting or changing what they are experiencing. I’m not worried about their lens; I’m worried about mine.
** I’m well aware that there are liberal media outlets that don’t fact check their work any better than Fox does. I’m pro-choice, pro-equality, a Non-Christian gamer geek, and I willfully say Happy Holidays; which group do you think goes out of its way to pee on my cornflakes the most? I don’t enjoy the liberal abuses of the truth any more than I enjoy the conservative ones, but the conservative ones are the ones that feel a bit more personalized in their message.
*** Right now, it’s an issue of formatting software and file extensions.
As the above post indicates, my Patreon campaign will be experiencing some changes. The description has already been tweaked, and will be getting some more adjustments. Have any questions? Feel free to contact me at “HarrisonKHall”, via Gmail. I’d put that address together for you, but I don’t want to feed the spam bots.